Tag Archives: advice

Ten Ways to be a Horrible Stay at Home Parent

Ten Ways to be a Horrible Stay at Home Parent

Being a stay at home parent is a challenge. No ands, ifs, or butts about it.  Doesn’t matter if you are a male or female, either way you look at it, you’ll be doing it wrong. So, let’s cut to the chase and go over the ten reasons why you are a horrible stay at home parent.

  1. You’re female.

    Just because you gave birth to the tiny army that you are now watching over, doesn’t mean you should be watching those little monsters. Why stay home and make your husband go out into the world and work hard for you and those children that came out of you? How could you do that to him? Now he has to go out and work all by himself. He gets to have singular thoughts and is able to work on one task at a time without little voices reminding him they haven’t eaten in five minutes. How dare you make him be an adult?

  2. You’re male.

    Just because you donated some sperm, doesn’t mean you should be able to take it easy! You are the man, the leader of your little home made army. Men are supposed to be out there making money and bringing home the bacon – not cooking it.  Women can’t make more money than you and then make you become the house bitch. Don’t you know that doing the dishes is a woman’s job?

  3. You stay home.

    What are you doing? You are supposed to be out there making money dealing with other adults trying to make money as well. Why would you want to be at home? You have bills to pay. And you have to pay childcare bills. So, get to work to bring home like 60 extra bucks each paycheck!

  4. Your house isn’t spotless.

    You are home all day, why is your house so dirty and cluttered?  You are home all day. The reason you are home all day is to take care of the house. To take care of the house, you need to keep it clean! That is your job. Your house looks like it could be on Hoarders! Get to work.

  5. Your house is spotless.

    Why is your house so clean? You have children at home that need your attention. Why are you so focused on having a clean house? Children make messes. Just make sure your house doesn’t look like a house on Hoarders!

  6. You haven’t been on Facebook

    . Didn’t you see that Tammy Sue is having a jewelry party this Friday? Did you see that Mark Zuckerberg is donating a crazy amount of money to something? Did you see what she posted?

  7. You have been on Facebook.

     I can’t believe you have been on your phone!  You need to focus on your children and get that house clean. In my time, we didn’t have phones to distract us.  You don’t have time to play on Facebook.  Now get focused on your children and off your phone.
  8. You haven’t posted about your children.

     Are they still alive? What are they wearing?  Do you still have children? Why don’t you share more about them?

  9. You have posted about your children.

     Don’t you think you post enough pictures of your children?  That is all you post about!  Aren’t you worried that those pictures are going to get into the wrong hands?  We don’t need to know everything they do.  Don’t you have other things to do?

  10. You are worried about what others think about you and the choices you make for your family.

      This is the biggest mistake I have seen with so many people.  They worry about what other people think and over stress themselves about what they think needs to be done for you and your children.  Are they in your shoes and do they handle the day to day business for your family?  What bills are they paying?  I am going to go out on a limb and say no, they aren’t paying any bills for you or handling any of you business.  Either way, as long as your children are healthy, feed and as happy as they can be, you are doing a great job.

Life with children is difficult.  No two children are the same – even within the same household.  There is no cookie cutter plan for every family.  Do your best, be better than you were yesterday and remember that no one is perfect! Stop listening to all the ‘you shoulds’ and enjoy the short time you have with your children the best way YOU see fit!

 

– Until next time

10 Benefits of Having a Blog for Writers

10 Benefits of Having a Blog for Writers
10 Benefits of Having a Blog for Writers

Many writers are struggling. They are struggling with the delicate art of balancing everything with the need to write. Others are struggling with getting words on the page. There are a few writers struggling with getting feedback on some of their writings.  Others are struggling with getting their writing published. I might not know everything, but I know a few things. One thing I know is that having a blog has been very helpful! So, I decided that I will share the top ten reasons why having a blog is super beneficial to anyone! (But more importantly to a writer!)

  1. Improve your writing – This is self-explanatory, but this is one of the biggest reasons to have a blog. Writing is like a muscle that you need to work out. The only way to get better is to write. There really isn’t much else one can say about it.
  2. Expressing yourself – Having a blog allows you to open the door and put yourself out there and allow you to express what you are thinking. No one else knows what you are thinking so it is up to you to open that door.
  3. Strengthen your writing muscles – Similar to what I said before, writing is an art. To get great at it, one needs to practice. One also needs to step out his/her comfort zone and expand his/her tool set. It is like going to the gym and only every working on your arms and you forget about leg day! To become a great well-rounded writer, you need to try different things. Step out of your comfort zone, and you will be amazed by what you will learn.
  4. Practice a different style – This goes hand in hand about trying something different. If you are often someone who liked to write long-winded articles about the food your cat really likes, try to write a 100-word post about you like to eat. Then try to write a top ten about what your dog really likes you. Every time you try something different, you will stretch your writing muscle and learn something new. In no time, you will master different things (and you will new strengths you didn’t know you had and learning things that don’t work so well.)
  5. Sharing your writing with the world – This tends to be the scariest step. You have to be willing to let people into read your writing. For me, this is the scariest thing. But the only way to grow it to expose yourself to the sun. J
  6. Building your audience – For any writer that wants to be published, building a following is now a huge part of getting a contract. Most traditional publishers do not have a HUGE marketing department. That means it falls on you to help your name out there. Already having a following is a great start. These are already people who know your writing and would love to read more. (Note: this does not happen overnight).
  7. Getting instant feedback – Every writer I know loves to get feedback. More often than not, they really love positive feedback. But as writers, we need all kinds of feedback. (Not anything that is mean or trying to discourage the writer.) One way of growing is fixing things that are not working and improving your weaknesses.
  8. Increasing creativity – Having a blog is a wonderful way of creating creativity. Once the ball starts to roll, coming up with things to blog about becomes simple. This is not to be confused with keeping up the blog (that is for a different day). Just brainstorming ideas for blog post tends to create even more blog post ideas! Go ahead and try it.
  9. Connecting with others – This is the fun part of blogging. (Even though I enjoy all parts of blogging). Often times, connecting with other bloggers is the fun part. Talking to others is just fun. You can create friendships and learn new things as well. Connecting with others have so many huge benefits for just your writing and your social life! J
  10. You can see your writing improve over time – This is really an awesome thing. You can look back at your old blog post and see how much you have grown. It’s a bit like a two-sided blade. You can see how far you have come and how you have improved: but, you will also see how unpolished and young your voice was. Just relish in seeing how much you have grown with your writing.

As you have guessed, there is always way more reason why to blog, but for me, these are the top ten reasons why I have a blog. What are you reasons to have a blog? Tell me below! J

Until next time….

If you have reached the end of my post, please take a moment and vote in my poll.

It closes tonight! 🙂

Hook ‘em with a quote…

Hook ‘em with a quote…

“I can fix a bad page. I can’t fix a blank page.”

Nora Roberts

This is one of my favorite quotes when it comes to writing. Let me explain.

As writers, we often have an inner judge, jury, editor and critic that lives in our head while we are trying to write. We worry about what other people are thinking or what others might think. That is one of the major causes of writer’s block. Then at the end of the day, we have nothing. You can’t fix nothing!

As a lover of NaNoWriMo, I have learned a few things. First off, I learned that getting the words on the page is the first step in writing. It doesn’t have to make sense (on the first draft!) Just getting the words on the page should cause you to celebrate! That’s the second thing I learned; celebrate the little steps you take. In the long run it will help you achieve your overall goal! The third thing I learned during my writing journey is that you can fix the bad stuff but you really can’t fix nothing. (Have you ever tried to pay something with nothing?)  Get the words down first and then fix it later!

It’s okay to have bad stuff – bad pages, manuscripts, or just bad words. That is part of learning. And to write is to learn.

What do you think of the quote? Let me know!

Until next time…

Another DIY project.

Another DIY project.

My husband and I decided to paint our cupboard doors with chalkboard paint. We have large white doors what have really nothing going on. We thought about just painting them or putting decorations but isn’t that what everyone else does? We wanted something fun and something that not many other people do!  So we decided to put a chalkboard in. This is the paint we used! image

This it the start of it. See how big and white they were?

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This is after the first coat. The paint says to put two coats for the best results. I can see why. It doesn’t show very well in the picture but it shows the paint brush stokes. This only took about a half hour to do. I free handed it (which is dangerous if you know me! )

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This is four hours after.  It says to let it dry that long and I understand why.  I thought maybe I can add a little bit more between coats, but I strongly suggest that you don’t! It leaves horrible paint strokes and for a chalkboard you want a smooth surface! So wait the four hours and put on the second coat.

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This is the second coat.  I think it looks great but I decided to let this sit over night and see how it looks in the morning.  Plus I can do all my touch ups once it’s dry.

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The morning after…  Okay, so you can see that I clearly lied.  I tried to do some touch ups at like one in the morning.  I couldn’t sleep so I though, heck, let’s work on this.  Let me say, no, it did not go well.  So now I have to do a third coat to fix what I messed up and to make things even.

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Final product. I think it turned out great. It says to wait seven days before writing on it. So that is what I’ll do. I’ll update you guys on how well it actually works as a chalkboard. It has been a fun little (and kinda easy) project for me too do. And I don’t think I destroyed it at all! Lol

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http://stephwenburg.wordpress.com

August Wrap Up and a Game Plan to Fix it!

August Wrap Up and a Game Plan to Fix it!

Oh man, August flew by! I don’t know where the time went.  I now have an eleven month old tiny terror and it’s another month closer to NaNoWriMo!

August was a piss poor month for me when it came to writing.  My word count was 9649 FOR THE WHOLE MONTH! That is pathetic!  On top of that, I only wrote for a eleven days out of the whole month. I feel like a liar when I say that I am a writer! A writer writes everyday (or does something related to writing).  I only did it eleven day out of the month! I am just shocked by that!

So I have came up with a game plan. Like I mentioned before, NaNoWriMo is now even closer!  Like two months away! SO I need to work on getting my word count up.  Like a runner doesn’t run a marathon overnight, I need to train for this!  I got inspiration for this from here.  Emily suggested to to train in a two part series.

Part One: A short story of 12,500 words. (Or over) Easy peasy, right? Okay, sure. But do it in 12 days. (Yes, time frame is pretty much arbitrary. I didn’t say it was a logical challenge.)  – 

Adventures in Writing

So the first part is about writing a short story to get words on the page and get your whistle wet! Words can’t come out until you start taping the keyboard!

Part Two: After part one and a short rest period, say 4 days. Step it up to 25,000 words in 30 days. – 

Adventures in Writing

Part two is all about increasing your word count. It will take a month to do, (Maybe September?) It is something you need to stick with! 🙂

But what if this is too much for you to take on at once, well, I know for me and my busy life, I need to slow down a little bit (and by slow down, I mean take it easier than this).   For me, I get very limited window to get a lot of writing done, so I try so hard to get words down but if you are anything like me, sometimes you bite off more than you chew.

That is what happened it August. I put that I wanted to get 2000 words done a day but when I sat down to write, I became a deer in head lights!  I was so worried about how many words I was writing that I froze.  That is not what I writer does -freeze all the time.  A writer writes!  So I came up with this little plan!

I choose to start this little experience in September (I know I am crazy!).  To begin with, this plan will take almost six weeks to do.  Why?  It is all about conditioning your body and mind to write.  It takes time for you body to adjust and you really don’t want to set yourself up for failure! So here is the overview: (and remember, adjust this for your goals and what you are available to do!)

  • Week one – 500 words a day
  • Week Two – 750 words a day
  • Week Three – 1000 words a day
  • Week Four – 1250 Words a day
  • Week Five – 1500 words a day (Note to win NaNoWriMo on time you need at least 1667 words a day!)
  • Week Six – 2000 words a day

What do you think about this?  Do you think you can do it?  Or do you like Emily’s idea?  Let me know!  I love to help and I would love to help you guys, so let me know what I can do!

I’ll keep you guys updated on how it goes for me!

Until next time..

Please don’t come to my house…

Please don’t come to my house…

My house isn’t horrible but it’s not spotless either.  It’s NO WHERE near a level of a hordes house (I grew up in one when I was a child).  My mother often blamed me for the mess because I didn’t clean up after myself or anyone in the house. It had nothing to do with her keeping everything of my brother’s (and no, he didn’t die.  He is still very much alive.) Or her lack of effort. I was the female unwanted child and it was my responsibility to keep the house clean. Do you know any seven year old how has to do that?

Anyway, I digress, but please do not come to my house.  I have a adorable, destructive, sweet little eleven month old who is just being a kid.  I don’t always feel like to picking everything she drops or throws.  She is currently working on her hand-eye coordination and practicing dropping objects to watch where they go.  She is learning what to do and how to do things.  It might make me a horrible mother, but I would like to enjoy her while she is small.

On top of that, I am human too. There are days that I just don’t feel like doing anything. And I mean anything. I have had days that putting a bra on was going to kill me. Pants are only for going out to see other humans. But overall, I am human. I am not perfect and neither is my daughter (even through to me, she is.)

Also, I’m a writer. I’m a creative soul and sometimes cleaning helps me. Sometimes I am wrapped up in my creative thinking I forget about the rest of the world. There is a picture I have hanging on my fridge. It reads:

If you marry a creative person know that some days you’ll come home to a spotless house.
And some days…
1. Dinner will be forgotten
2. The kids will be in pjs
3. And it will look like you were robbed
Find a way to appreciate both because the second will happen much more often than the first.

-CraftSnark

This is just a statement of fact. I wish more people understood.

Either, you are welcome to my house if you understand the following and don’t mind the mess. If you don’t then I am going to release my daughter onto your house and maybe you will understand. 😀

Until next time…