Tag Archives: humor

Ten Ways to be a Horrible Stay at Home Parent

Ten Ways to be a Horrible Stay at Home Parent

Being a stay at home parent is a challenge. No ands, ifs, or butts about it.  Doesn’t matter if you are a male or female, either way you look at it, you’ll be doing it wrong. So, let’s cut to the chase and go over the ten reasons why you are a horrible stay at home parent.

  1. You’re female.

    Just because you gave birth to the tiny army that you are now watching over, doesn’t mean you should be watching those little monsters. Why stay home and make your husband go out into the world and work hard for you and those children that came out of you? How could you do that to him? Now he has to go out and work all by himself. He gets to have singular thoughts and is able to work on one task at a time without little voices reminding him they haven’t eaten in five minutes. How dare you make him be an adult?

  2. You’re male.

    Just because you donated some sperm, doesn’t mean you should be able to take it easy! You are the man, the leader of your little home made army. Men are supposed to be out there making money and bringing home the bacon – not cooking it.  Women can’t make more money than you and then make you become the house bitch. Don’t you know that doing the dishes is a woman’s job?

  3. You stay home.

    What are you doing? You are supposed to be out there making money dealing with other adults trying to make money as well. Why would you want to be at home? You have bills to pay. And you have to pay childcare bills. So, get to work to bring home like 60 extra bucks each paycheck!

  4. Your house isn’t spotless.

    You are home all day, why is your house so dirty and cluttered?  You are home all day. The reason you are home all day is to take care of the house. To take care of the house, you need to keep it clean! That is your job. Your house looks like it could be on Hoarders! Get to work.

  5. Your house is spotless.

    Why is your house so clean? You have children at home that need your attention. Why are you so focused on having a clean house? Children make messes. Just make sure your house doesn’t look like a house on Hoarders!

  6. You haven’t been on Facebook

    . Didn’t you see that Tammy Sue is having a jewelry party this Friday? Did you see that Mark Zuckerberg is donating a crazy amount of money to something? Did you see what she posted?

  7. You have been on Facebook.

     I can’t believe you have been on your phone!  You need to focus on your children and get that house clean. In my time, we didn’t have phones to distract us.  You don’t have time to play on Facebook.  Now get focused on your children and off your phone.
  8. You haven’t posted about your children.

     Are they still alive? What are they wearing?  Do you still have children? Why don’t you share more about them?

  9. You have posted about your children.

     Don’t you think you post enough pictures of your children?  That is all you post about!  Aren’t you worried that those pictures are going to get into the wrong hands?  We don’t need to know everything they do.  Don’t you have other things to do?

  10. You are worried about what others think about you and the choices you make for your family.

      This is the biggest mistake I have seen with so many people.  They worry about what other people think and over stress themselves about what they think needs to be done for you and your children.  Are they in your shoes and do they handle the day to day business for your family?  What bills are they paying?  I am going to go out on a limb and say no, they aren’t paying any bills for you or handling any of you business.  Either way, as long as your children are healthy, feed and as happy as they can be, you are doing a great job.

Life with children is difficult.  No two children are the same – even within the same household.  There is no cookie cutter plan for every family.  Do your best, be better than you were yesterday and remember that no one is perfect! Stop listening to all the ‘you shoulds’ and enjoy the short time you have with your children the best way YOU see fit!

 

– Until next time

DIY fail-ish

DIY fail-ish

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So i decided to try this… let me just say… do not get high hopes…

I started out with the sugar…

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Then came adding the food coloring. … I’m a green freak do I picked green.

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It clumped up and it took a lot of work to blend it all in.

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In the middle of mixing… it felt like it took several years.

After years of string and blending you finally get green colored sugar.

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After that, you have to put it in a pan… I put parchment paper in the bottom due to the fear of it staining my baking pans. (It stained my fingertips really bad.)   You have to make sure that you make sure its all flat in the pan.

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I had my oven at 350° and it took way longer than 20 mins before it started to crystallize. I think it took me close to 25 minutes. …


And in the end I got this…

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It just barely sparkles. … it was a bit of a fail… but i did get green sugar out of it all. I think that was the point,  wasn’t it?

I dunno. Did anyone out there do this and get a better result?   I hope so! Let me know down below  (and maybe share a picture or two!

Until next time…

Boredom with some many things to do!

Boredom with some many things to do!

Have you ever been bored to tears and had a long list of things to do?  Oh boy, I have that right now!   So, here my luandry list of things to do:

  • Dishes
  • Clean house
  • Bring dog to vet for yearly check up
  • Get daughter ready to go to Vet
  • Work on blog posts for the month
  • WRITE
  • Read
  • Schedule hair cut
  • Balance checkbook
  • Get gas for Van
  • WRITE
  • Prepare for tomorrow’s shopping trip
  • Do stuff in general.

I have plenty of stuff to do but not one once of energy to do anything.  I don’t even have energy to watch TV!  Help!

Oh well, off to at least get the dog and kid ready to go! Wish me luck!  🙂

Oh Snap! Squirrel bowls and storms!

Oh Snap! Squirrel bowls and storms!

Oh snap!  You know some major writing is going on!  I got my squirrel bowl full of beef and noodles (nothing like my father-in-law’s).  I got my dog trying his hardest to get inside of me (he’s not a fan of storms).  My daughter is blissfully asleep.  I am listening to the storm outside pound against my windows.  I’m currently working on writing up a few blog posts fpr the week or so and I am going to be working on my project!

So be on the look out! I got a lot of stuff coming out in the upcoming days!  I hope you enjoy it all!

Until next time….

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http://stephwenburg.wordpress.com

I have fans!

I have fans!

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Look at all my fans! They just love me so much… it has nothing to do with the fries that I threw at them… 😂😂😂

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Sorry, I crack myself up! They surrounded my van and just kept quaking at me until I took their picture… or have them more fries… either way they love me!

Posted from WordPress for Android
http://stephwenburg.wordpress.com

Lunch with the boss.

Lunch with the boss.

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So I decided to take a break from working on my blog to have lunch with this adorable little girl. She is too cute to handle!  My little Serenity! She fell asleep midway through lunch so I thought I would share a line or two with the world. 

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The duck is checking me out, so I decided to make him famous! I think he’ll go by the stage name Ducky. Ha! I crack myself up.

Well, off I go.  Back to the grind of the real world!

Until next time…

Posted from WordPress for Android
http://stephwenburg.wordpress.com