Ten Ways to be a Horrible Stay at Home Parent

Being a stay at home parent is a challenge. No ands, ifs, or butts about it.  Doesn’t matter if you are a male or female, either way you look at it, you’ll be doing it wrong. So, let’s cut to the chase and go over the ten reasons why you are a horrible stay at home parent.

  1. You’re female.

    Just because you gave birth to the tiny army that you are now watching over, doesn’t mean you should be watching those little monsters. Why stay home and make your husband go out into the world and work hard for you and those children that came out of you? How could you do that to him? Now he has to go out and work all by himself. He gets to have singular thoughts and is able to work on one task at a time without little voices reminding him they haven’t eaten in five minutes. How dare you make him be an adult?

  2. You’re male.

    Just because you donated some sperm, doesn’t mean you should be able to take it easy! You are the man, the leader of your little home made army. Men are supposed to be out there making money and bringing home the bacon – not cooking it.  Women can’t make more money than you and then make you become the house bitch. Don’t you know that doing the dishes is a woman’s job?

  3. You stay home.

    What are you doing? You are supposed to be out there making money dealing with other adults trying to make money as well. Why would you want to be at home? You have bills to pay. And you have to pay childcare bills. So, get to work to bring home like 60 extra bucks each paycheck!

  4. Your house isn’t spotless.

    You are home all day, why is your house so dirty and cluttered?  You are home all day. The reason you are home all day is to take care of the house. To take care of the house, you need to keep it clean! That is your job. Your house looks like it could be on Hoarders! Get to work.

  5. Your house is spotless.

    Why is your house so clean? You have children at home that need your attention. Why are you so focused on having a clean house? Children make messes. Just make sure your house doesn’t look like a house on Hoarders!

  6. You haven’t been on Facebook

    . Didn’t you see that Tammy Sue is having a jewelry party this Friday? Did you see that Mark Zuckerberg is donating a crazy amount of money to something? Did you see what she posted?

  7. You have been on Facebook.

     I can’t believe you have been on your phone!  You need to focus on your children and get that house clean. In my time, we didn’t have phones to distract us.  You don’t have time to play on Facebook.  Now get focused on your children and off your phone.
  8. You haven’t posted about your children.

     Are they still alive? What are they wearing?  Do you still have children? Why don’t you share more about them?

  9. You have posted about your children.

     Don’t you think you post enough pictures of your children?  That is all you post about!  Aren’t you worried that those pictures are going to get into the wrong hands?  We don’t need to know everything they do.  Don’t you have other things to do?

  10. You are worried about what others think about you and the choices you make for your family.

      This is the biggest mistake I have seen with so many people.  They worry about what other people think and over stress themselves about what they think needs to be done for you and your children.  Are they in your shoes and do they handle the day to day business for your family?  What bills are they paying?  I am going to go out on a limb and say no, they aren’t paying any bills for you or handling any of you business.  Either way, as long as your children are healthy, feed and as happy as they can be, you are doing a great job.

Life with children is difficult.  No two children are the same – even within the same household.  There is no cookie cutter plan for every family.  Do your best, be better than you were yesterday and remember that no one is perfect! Stop listening to all the ‘you shoulds’ and enjoy the short time you have with your children the best way YOU see fit!

 

– Until next time

8 thoughts on “Ten Ways to be a Horrible Stay at Home Parent

    1. I am primary SAHM but I have returned to school and I’ve started freelancing from my house… SO I never really leave the house, ever. So many opinions… And I have yet to receive a check for any bills they are paying. lol Thank you for visiting!

  1. Great post. And funny too. I like your back and forth approach to the topic and you are right no one is perfect. And if you try to be perfect something is terribly wrong with you.

Leave me your thoughts - I would love to hear them!