Here’s another addition to my Wednesday’s writing pieces; and it’s another one about Zombies. I really like zombies. This one is a process essay. It might be a little gory for a select few people, but over all, it shouldn’t make anyone loose their lunch. Enjoy!
On a side note, it’s my mother’s birthday. This should be fun. Okay, now back to the writing!
How to Kill a Zombie
Zombies are mindless beings that only have a goal of spreading whatever it has to other non-zombies. Zombies are not like humans. Killing a zombie deals with several other factors that the average person would not think about and wouldn’t know. A zombie does not die from a shoot to the chest or lost limb. There are no arteries to try to cut. There is only one way a zombie can be stopped and that is with its head taken off.
The very first thing a person must do to be prepared to do is to actually kill something. The zombie may look like a family member or be a dear friend. The first thing you need to remember is that the zombie isn’t human anymore. All the lifetime memories it once had are gone. Your mother isn’t your mother anymore once she has the zombie virus got to her brain. Zombies do not pick and choose who it will attack (unless it’s another zombie.) Once this mind set is in place, the person can go on to the next step.
Once the mind is in the right place, you need to make sure that the distance between the zombie and the person. The closest someone can be to the zombie and still be safe is about and arm length away. The safest distance from a zombie is in a different zip code but it’s often hard to achieve that status. One side note to take notice of is how far you need to be with your weapons to do what you need them to do. Distance is an important factor but knowing when to fight or fly is even more important.
With every move you make like breathing, blinking, sleeping and other activities, burn calories. During a zombie outbreak, food is going to be rare. Burning tons of calories will not be the best bet if you do not have the food to back it up. Knowing the difference between to fight or to run is important. If the zombie is posing a large threat to you at that moment, you will need to fight. If the zombie has noticed you and you are at a distance, then you can run and do not need to fight. If you hear more one zombie, you can run. If you get surrounded by many zombies, you need to fight your way out and then you run. Once the flight or flight reaction has been figured out, if you need to fight, then you can fight.
Fighting a zombie is not like fighting your little brother. A zombie can only ‘die’ but removing the brain. This means you have a short period of time to achieve this. It is important to know different weapons that have different pros and cons. For example, gun are great for long distances but need to be reload or the machete is a great for multipurpose tool but for fight zombies it put one too close to a zombie. A zombie’s brain needs to be disconnected from the body. This could be a crushing the brain, cutting off the head, cracking the skull open and any other way of getting the head away from the body. The brain is where the virus or the controller is located. This is where the orders are being given and you need to cut that tie. The simplest way of cutting the communication is cutting the head off. But this puts you within arm’s reach which is a dangerous game of chance. You must destroy the brain. This is extremely difficult though because the human skull is created to protect the brain and not let it out. The best way to break the skull open is from the side (like placing your heel behind the ear). Between the sphenoid and the temporal bone is the weakest area of the skull (because it is the slimmest area of the skull) and with enough force it should break. With whatever weapon you are using needs to be able to smash the brain.
Once you have destroyed the brain, you need to burn the body. Just pile all the zombies you have destroyed in a pile and light the mother lover pile on fire. This prevents other animals to eat the bed flesh. Also, this insures that the zombie will not come back. To be safer, once the fire has engulfed the bodies, you need to leave. You do not want to waste time and you do not want other zombies to find you.
Killing zombies is an important skill to have. With practice killing zombies will get easier and you will develop your own sense of what you need to do. Once killing zombies are down pat, gardening will have to be your next goal to master.